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Talk:Gears of War: Snowblind
Greetings, I am presently working on a Fanfic that has been in the works since May 2009. I started posting the FF in September after I had some chapters established so I could post them on a regular basis. Input is welcome as I try to improve the work. Let me know your thoughts in the matter. You can also read the FF at fanfiction.net at the following link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5380395/1/Snowblind As I continue to write, I do read other FF's so please feel free to give me a heads up anytime. --Jonesybites 07:52, November 25, 2009 (UTC) Fanfic Updates Well, as of now I have finished up to 36 chapters, closing in on the end of Snowblind with a few more chapters to go to tie up some loose ends. For the most part I'm pretty excited about how the ending will turn out. As the plot thickens down the way and revelations revealed, some twists take place that may decide the fate of our band of heroes as they come nearer to the close of their little venture. If you have not yet read my FF, I suggest you take your time because it is long. As of now, I only have 25 chapters posted on other websites, and I've been posting them here on a regular basis, taking some time to edit them. I will also update my "Author's Notes" section to add secondary and a few more main characters to the list as they are revealed in the story. As I continue to edit and "refresh" the work, hopefully it will keep the readers on their toes, having a few laughs and later, a few cries(for the sentimental types). So, as I sit here and talk to myself in my own "discussion" page (I'm not entirely that demented...honest), please sit back and enjoy as the adventure unfolds. Otherwise, I hope the readers will get involved in this discussion to yak about story flow, character developement, what's good, what's not so good, ect. Please feel free to make conversation anytime. --Jonesybites 20:23, December 9, 2009 (UTC) Haha...so here I am talking to myself again. Maybe this should be appropriately named the Jonesy "therapy page" since I seem to have an infamous knack of splitting in between personalities. But, nevertheless, I compose… The latter portion of the fanfic has been actually exciting for me since the events get even more “epic” as the plot unfolds and the revelations shift our characters into directions they would have not, otherwise chosen for themselves. It has been long speculated as I have gone back to reread the story and attempt to appreciate it for what it is, I have often caught a glimpse of my own conflicts that I battle constantly in my own existence as I meander through the dark chasms of my own psyche in relation to the events that unfold in our day to day life activities. As I have come to understand the OC’s and they’re relationship with the events around them, I have found elements of myself in each that I otherwise probably would have been able to scratch the surface. This may explain the dark humor, clashing with chemistry while the loneliness that many of us can relate too is thrown into a menagerie of sarcasm, spite, and fondness, sometimes all at the same time, while the sexual forte's that are prevalent in the story are rather objective. Needless to say, I discover elements of myself that may leave one to wonder, “oh God, you are nuts,” however, being more mature in the understanding of humanity, whether it would be for the better or for the worst, is the theme I have longed preferred to be the predominate theme in Snowblind. During the most duress times of humanity’s existence, a handful will rise in defiance to counter whatever it is that thrusts them into a rock and a hardplace. With a culture that has been at war for nearly a century, now combating an enemy that vows for humanity’s destruction, is now coming into full circle, face to face with the problem that was long rooted before the Locusts put things in an different perspective for the men of Sera …and a woman came along to screw it all up! So if you're reading my rhetoric, my regards to you for putting up with my Freudian oddities. ---- Your oddities are not Freudian at all. Jungian maybe. Freud seemed way too obsessed with people's libidos. ;) And yeah, gotta agree with you there: writing, like most art forms, can be pretty darned introspective at times. Some times disturbingly so. I think, that in flipping back and forth from some of your earlier and later chapters, the descriptions have matured for the better. You're doing a good job. Anyway, it's a shame that you haven't got many comments on your story, but I strongly doubt that the quality of your fic is at fault. Like I've said before on Fanfiction, you've got terrific ingredients; humor, grief, empathy, camaraderie...and you've souped them all together well. Keep going, I say! And I shall promise to keep reading. Naoya socol 07:27, December 21, 2009 (UTC) LOL'z...yea, you're probably right...unfortunately they failed to orient the Jungian philosophy to me when I was taking criminal psychology back at the academy, ...but, yea, the lack of feedback was aggravating at first but I quickly noticed authors at other sites are having similar issues so I'm not going to take it too personal. But I've noticed more people are starting to update more often on this site so hopefully that will bring some interest back into the FF genra...and hopefully that will bring more feedback to improve our work. --Jonesybites 04:36, December 22, 2009 (UTC) Made my way to chapter 10! So far, me likes. Again, the dialog is credible and fun to read. Just be careful how you tread with Raven's character for fear of creating you-know-who. Frankly, I'm not a fan of pro-Mary-Sue or Anti-Marie-Sue camps, because each fanclub is pretty polarized (huh...whaddaya know, kinda sounds like the US political situation...). You've handled this well so far. Her past is sad but not unbelievably traumatic, so you've upped your credibility factor here. While MS characters can get too predictable and are turn-offs, I've noticed that any female character who might possess just one or two MS traits somehow or another gets labeled as MS. One thing you might want to work on is your fluctuating tense. I am in no way proficient with my own grammar, but I have noticed this repetition: you seem to predominantly favour the present tense, but in some instances (when characters are speaking), you revert to the past. When I write, I usually prefer the past tense, and I've noticed that whenever I switch to present tense, I make the same mistakes you do. I'm not saying you have to switch to past, but you can just keep your tenses in mind when writing for consistency's sake. I'll keep reading! Naoya socol 09:48, December 23, 2009 (UTC) Geez, you made it to ten already...you're a profecient reader...lolz, but the chapters get longer as you go along, just to warn ya. Yea, one other person mentioned the alternating between the present and past tense dialogue before, not too long ago, so I'll have to go back and reread to get a feel of the dialogue again. I had a Beta reader, but he/she fell on the wayside so I'm having to edit this thing myself, which has been a tricky task (can anyone relate to this?) As far as the character Raven is concerned, it's been a daunting task trying to develope her without coming across as the teacher's pet, because my original intention was to use Raven as the "informant" of the story, while sometimes taking the role as "Shemp" among the "three stooges," although the roles do switch over between her and Sven. Perhaps revealing her past was a little too soon...I may have done her justice to have waited until at least chapter ten, but...I'll probably finish this thing first before I go back and re-edit those sequences. lolz But my biggest concern was the plot flow, especially with the background plot as it starts to surface around chapter 13...and it just slowly takes root from there, while the characters deal with their own "conflicts" in the meantime until the background plot comes into fruition. But thanks for the feedback, it was very helpful...this website is much easier to organize the side notes, so I can keep everyone's suggestions, critiques, ect. for future references when I redress those issues. --Jonesybites 15:28, December 23, 2009 (UTC) Character Bios... Well, now that I have figured out how to link the Character profile pages, hopefully I will update the "characters" as I post. I am also going to sketch up the other OC's since I have one posted as of now, so I'm going to have to update the others...drawing takes time, sketching over and over until I get the character right, (bangs head on desk) while editing and finishing up the story, which is also time consuming. So needless to say, I'll be squeezing in the pics as I go along...I don't want to post just some random GoW pic of Carmine for Sven's profile (shudders). --Jonesybites 18:13, December 23, 2009 (UTC) Working process... Well, the feedback has been rather slow but concerning the emotional flow that intertwinds with the events that unfold in this story has been difficult to pinpoint as I go back and reread the work. I had Beta reader, but he/she fell to the wayside so I have had to take the daunting task myself, which, as I have mentioned before, is tricky. My biggest concern has alway been the relationship between the story flow and the poignant phases that occur when the characters confront their own conflicts during their trek in the wilderness. So, I'll have to ask the readers' thoughts on this since my own evaluations are somewhat limited. Although the events thereof make perfect sense to me since I am more aware of what will happen, I am not entirely sure if the audience is grasping what is happening, or if they're getting confused. To make a long story short, please enlighten me when things, or elements of the story get "confusing" or misleading, ect. Through this process, I hope to, in the long run, improve my writing skills for additional projects in the future. --Jonesybites 04:51, December 27, 2009 (UTC) I now finally have the FF updated to the latest chapter that is posted as of now...so as I sit here, (yea, I'm talking to myself again) reveling the events that have been transpiring throughout the story since I began writing Snowblind back in June 2009, I have been rather taken aback at the work while I’m drawing nearer to a close. There were times when writing out the sequences came naturally to me while other times it was somewhat tedious, trying to get past hurdles that hindered my creativity, until I finally had to pull myself away and focused on something else, then came back to finish what it was I was trying to compose. Although Snowblind is not yet complete, the end of Sigma’s journey is soon coming to a close, it’s just a question on how it’s going to close. I have been working diligently, coming up with endings that may do it justice, but the lack of feedback has been problematic since I have no idea how the audience feels about the unfolding plot. Nevertheless, I continue to explore my suppressed emotional ingenuity, bringing to surface the deepest of my thoughts to serve as proxies that consequently becomes an influential element in the story. It’s not to say I discover myself within the characters, but the through the conflicts that pulls at them, and they range from petty differences to the traumatic. My intention was to pull the reader with the characters, psychologically compelling them to laugh, to distress, to empathize, and to even spite. It is a range that can be exhausting but exhilarating at the same time, as if the reader is right there with them. Again, feedback is welcome as I attempt to understand the readers' response to those very elements... Coming to the End of All Things... Well, as I get close to finishing up Snowblind, I have been working with the feedback that folks have generously left for me to help improve the work, and I plan to go back from the very beginning to reread and edit, while getting back into illustrating again and posting banners throughout the FF novel. If you have read my FF, please leave feedback to aid me when I go back and do a sweep of edits to improve the story, composition, grammar, dialogue structure, and other elements that some have mentioned that may be a potential reoccuring issue. --Jonesybites 03:46, March 24, 2010 (UTC) End Of Snowblind :( Aww, I really enjoyed reading Snowblind... You need a sequel lol Ravens already grown on me :) and plus, I feel sorry for Baird, he must really love Raven deep down. Poor Baird Libbybaloo 18:17, March 24, 2010 (UTC) :Thanks for the heads up...but the story has to end; however, I am not by any means finished with the characters. I'm going to wait until (Anvil Gate) comes out before I continue on with the sequal; I'm trying to stay with the canon as close as possible. :In the meantime, I'm going to do a massive sweep of editing over the whole thing so I'm trying to collect as many critiques that I can get to improve it. As was mentioned, there are some re-occuring issues throughout the story that need to be remedied, so I'm hoping to "weed" those out with some help from the readers and the feedback they give me. :Baird was rather difficult to write concerning his emotional state, which, is for the most part, repressed, but I speculate this would be the way he would act when dealing with complex emotions such as, what you have mentioned; it's as if a part of me wants to sympathize, while the other part wants me to kick him in the rear...but I have left their "connection" in limbo for the moment to make room for another calamity that will come their way...yayz, more drama, while hilarity ensues, bwahahaha. --Jonesybites 19:48, March 24, 2010 (UTC) Jog on Anvil Gate :) Libbybaloo 21:42, March 24, 2010 (UTC) :No kiddin...it doesn't come out until August (groan). --Jonesybites 00:06, March 25, 2010 (UTC) D: great 5 months away we'll make the most of it lol 5 measley months grrr Libbybaloo 14:56, March 26, 2010 (UTC) Alas, five more months...oh wellz, that will give me some time to put some stuff together, and if it doesn't work, then I'll just toss it and go another direction. Ugh, I gotta admit, trying to compose the last chapter is a pickle in itself...this may take another week to finish, (groan). But, anyhoosits, once I get this thing complete, I'll start illustrating again, which takes even longer for me to do because I research alot of references, like poses, getting that (*&^$^%$) armor right...it took me nearly two months just to get Raven's illustration somewhat close to the way I wanted it...amd there's still room for improvement(bangs head on desk). But, as I rant on my own discussion page, hopefully this will break up my "issue" and I'll get this thing completed. lol... to be honest, I was really really really praying that Raven and Baird just admit to each other and all that other lovey dovey gooey stuff lol but thats me :) Libbybaloo 14:36, March 30, 2010 (UTC) :Lol, can you really see Baird, the ass that he is, be "lovey dovey?" Well, ok, he may not be a complete ass, but still, we're talking about two, stubborn people whom only knew each other for a week, and if I was to take their "relationship" the direction you forementioned (and I'm not necessarily implying that I'm not), that would be another, long story, and Snowblind is long enough as it is...(over 215,000 words). :...but, I will keep your suggestion in mind...I don't get much feedback so I was kinda winging this thing, :( lol. Speaking of which, to anyone else who's reading my hidiously long FF, your thoughts on this? :--Jonesybites 21:15, March 30, 2010 (UTC) Both Baird and Raven can get assy, thats why they're perfect for each other I rest my case :) I know a perfect couple when I read about one xD Libbybaloo 21:23, March 30, 2010 (UTC) Ok, you gotta point there... --Jonesybites 22:57, March 30, 2010 (UTC) I know this has suddenly gone off topic lol, but I love that picture you added :D it looks wicked! :) Libbybaloo 12:29, March 31, 2010 (UTC) Rambling... Pulling through a rather dismal void as of late, I felt that I would probably do well if I channeled my thoughts in some manner to keep myself busy. Anyhoot, I have been going back and forth, writing up the commentary for the story while still going back and doing some major "editing," to improve the grammar and potentially other miscellaneous flaws that I may have overlooked in the past. But, as I quote from my "credit page;" in the grander scheme of things, Snowblind became personal for me as I delved into my own subliminal emotional cataclysm that spanned between joy, desire, eroticism, loneliness, spite, fear, malevolence, hostility, and sorrow. From the beginning, I began to keep mental notes of feedback and critiques from reader's and other authors. I'll admit, on the occasion, when the feedback was little, if any, I would at times feel inadequate when I wouldn't get a response from anyone for a month, wondering what it was that may have potentially turned people off from my story, or writing, while other Fanfics would reel in the reviews. I have lost count over how many times I have often wondered what it was that I was doing wrong, while others would remind me of what I was doing right (or wrong), I had to constantly remind myself why I was writing in the first place. My own personal experiences in life has often pulled me into seperate realities as I tried to salvage my own perception of identity. On top of this, I had to eventually confront some issues that were in need of reevaluation my personal life, because there was little, if any outlet for me to weed out those emotions that would retard me from functioning according to design. Being diagnosed with clinical depression early in life, I understood that I had to be consistently aware of my own proximities, in hopes that I could catch myself when I would teeter on the brink of any downslide. Writing has offered me some insight on the deeper inclinations that have long, lingered within my own consciousness, that I may not have understood otherwise. I know that I am no stranger to insecurities and like most writers, who put their dedication to their work, often sense the sting when they feel, what they have to say may seem lifeless. I can't say that I have the answers to all (if any) of those woes; hence the reason why I am writing now, lol...but, I continue to read, learn, and commune. Through song and rhyme, I come to the understanding that I am certainly not the only one standing at the edge of a great precipice, wondering what to do next. Perhaps it is good to know that we can find some comfort in knowing that we're not alone when we would fall, sometimes find it hard to pick ourselves back up again. --Jonesybites 03:41, May 9, 2010 (UTC) As Cole might say, WHOO! :After spending every moment I could getting to the page and even after my slow computer froze up several times due to the page's length, I finished reading and there is no contest that this is the best fan-fiction I've ever read. Admittedly, I haven't read all that many, but nonetheless! You definitely had the feel for familiar characters like Cole and Baird down, and the new characters fit excellently into the world. Definitely should be looked at by Epic Games as a bridge between Gears 2 and 3. I put it up with the best professionally written books I've read. Bravo! :That Damn Sniper, sniping. 17:15, May 22, 2010 (UTC) Lol, I must agree; there's nothing more annoying than waiting five minutes for a page to come up, and then it freezes (which has happened to me several times while typing) :(...I may have to take the blame for the upload time, though because of the pics/illustrations... Anyway, thanks for reading it and finishing it...I know it's long so I gotta hand you Kudos for finishing it. The last time I read a fic that was thirty chapters long, it took me three weeks to finish it (I'm a horribly slow reader). But I'm glad you enjoyed it...it's nice to hear that from readers so that the author knows that there is an appreciation of the work, instead of just another waste of webspace. Unfortunately, with it being a Fanfic, like so many others that I have read that are also, in my opinion, very good, it's limited to the licensing and copyright laws. I dunno, I suppose I could dream...in the meantime, I'll use this as a platform to expand on the writing experience. --Jonesybites 03:10, May 23, 2010 (UTC) Site cleanup... Well, while I'm in the Spring clean-up mood at my house, I may as well clean-up and update my articles/stories, ect., getting ready for 2011. Please bare with me as I go back and re-edit some stuff; this is a long story so it's gonna be quite a overhaul to get this thing pristine. Fortunately, I've had the privilege of getting some feedback from some readers, and they were generous to take the time to point out some errors. In response, I gladly thanked them for their suggestions/clarification, and now move to address those mishaps that I somehow overlooked during the original edit. Hopefully I'll get it right this time. :o --Jonesybites 19:39, January 5, 2011 (UTC) Kudos to you good sir! Kudos to you good sir! You have written a wonderful story! You should be quite proud indeed. Thank you sir for the read. I was wondering if anybody was reading this thing, lol. --Jonesybites 23:10, December 15, 2011 (UTC)